It's simple, really.

Even before the whole trial began, it has already been accepted that the verdict for the Chief Justice, whether impeachment or acquittal, would not be decided solely on the evidence presented, but on the political affiliations and individual interests of the senator-judges. Regardless of the result of the votes, it would end the same way: with the weakening of the country’s political institutions.

I was looking forward to CJ Corona’s testimony because it would have spelled the end to the impeachment trial and would cease to be the scapegoat for the failure to pursue the country’s much-needed economic reforms. Yesterday’s episode, however, merely escalated the tension and uncertainty even further.

Corona played a good card of clearing his name to the public. Though the senator-judges were unnecessarily lenient in allowing a statement, a chunk of which being either irrelevant to his case or merely just a personal narration of his side of the story, to go on for 3 hours, I think more Filipinos believe him now compared to a few weeks ago. Thinking two, even three, steps ahead, it was a strategic gamble: if he stays on as Chief Justice, he would retain the trust of at least some Filipinos, as opposed to keeping his title amid the prevailing perception of him as a thief and a liar.

He portrayed the persona of an honest official standing by the mandate given to him by the Constitution and by the Filipino people, as one who is willing to challenge the big men in government for the honor of his office and for the sake of accountability, by signing a waiver to disclose everything: his properties, peso and dollar accounts, financial interests, and those of his wife’s, to the public. This could have been enough to bring back his integrity and honor in the eyes of the people had he not ‘walked out.’ Not only that, but this could have fast-tracked the trial, but just after signing the waiver, he challenges all the signatories to the impeachment and Drilon to do the same.

So now the judiciary is fighting back, not only at the executive, but at the legislative as well. Is this something like an implosion of our government institutions?

See, it doesn’t matter if Corona is guilty of failing to truthfully/correctly file his SALNs or not. It doesn’t even matter if he has amassed ill-gotten wealth. What matters is that in the long-run, we have a dangerously unstable political system being led by a single-minded, paralyzed administration with a misguided set of priorities. By filing a series of impeachment complaints, in record time, to say the least (nevermind the RH and FOI bills), this administration has just set the precedent for succeeding administrations for doing the same.

I believe that whatever the outcome of this trial, the biggest loser here wouldn’t be Corona. It would be the President. This is precisely the reason why this whole unnecessary ruckus wouldn’t end with the conclusion of the trial. Assuming that the Chief Justice would be acquitted (my bet), Aquino wouldn’t stop until he achieves the outcome he wants. His shortsighted solutions to his problems, applying not just for Corona and Arroyo, but for Scarborough Shoal and the Spratlys as well, have weakened his clout as the president. Add these with Binay and UNA edging their way to the center yet keeping its distance from the trial, I don’t see a bright yellow future for the next four years.

… That CJ Corona really does have 80 dollar accounts based on what Ombudsman Morales divulged through the Anti-Money Laundering Council.

I honestly do not know which is more absurd: That a highly-esteemed government official can actually hold evidence of another official of having over 80 foreign currency accounts, or that government officials are actually capable of having dozens of foreign currency accounts under our noses.

So, let’s say this is an exaggerated truth, if a Chief Justice can have hundreds of millions worth of money stashed away in various banks, what more the Congressmen. The Senators. The Governors and the Mayors. Those appointed and those elected.

Where has all the money gone?

It’s a rape of the treasury, I say.

And yet so many continue to wish for a leader just like Ferdinand E. Marcos? Well, there you go, then. There they go with the money of our country.

1997 would always be remembered as the year that took 2 of the most beloved women in modern history, leaving behind great legacies that have elicited timeless change in numerous corners of the globe. That was the year when the world lost Lady Diana and Mother Theresa, two outstanding individuals who chose to open their arms and hearts to the most vulnerable and marginalized in society. The world lost two gems that year.

In my case, that was the year when I lost my mother.

I spent my 5^th birthday in the hospital. At that time, my mother was in the late stages of cancer, and my family feared that any day could be her last. I, on the other hand, was occupied with drawing shapes on a heart-shaped box I received as a gift. 4 days later, on the 6^th of April, 1997, my mother passed away, and I vividly recall my relatives bowing their heads as the white sheet was put over my mother’s body. I was brought out of the room.

My memory of that day ended there.

This event left me, my older brother, and my father spending the next 3 years with each other to hold on to. I recall those years as being the happiest of my childhood. Sundays meant spending the afternoon in Glico’s in Quad after doing the groceries with Dad and my brother. Relatives would often visit our house, and we would visit theirs. I had good friends in school and I was doing quite well in my academics.

My father gave his utmost effort to be both a father and a mother to us. He learned how to cook and prepared our milk every night. We watched Popeye while entertaining ourselves with the thought of my father getting together with my brother’s elementary teacher.

Life was good. It was as if there was no hint of a tragedy in my eyes as I was simply too young to grasp the concept of death. We went on like the Three Musketeers, and I thought that it couldn’t get any better than this. That is, until after the earthquake.

A series of earthquakes shook the metro in 2000, and living on the 9^th floor of a condominium would have been a cause for concern for most people. Coincidentally, my family was celebrating a reunion with some relatives and family friends in our house, and ironically, we were asked to evacuate the building as I fell asleep while watching Godzilla on TV. As my relatives were scrambling about what to do next, my tita, my mother’s sister, went straight to the bed where my brother and I were sleeping and embraced us as we slept, then helping us evacuate the building.

Dad saw this, and apparently, this wasn’t the only occasion that melted my dad’s heart. There were other cheesy moments prior to this that I wasn’t aware of, but hey, for the second time around, Cupid struck my father’s heart. She started living with us shortly after the earthquake.

There was this one instance in the 4^th grade when my teacher asked me why ‘aunt’ was written in my form in the place of ‘mother.’ I remember tearing up without being able to explain it because, aside from having absolutely no idea how to explain the whole situation, it finally occurred to me that my mother had died. I felt the pang, but acceptance is not too hard to achieve when you have the people you love around you all the time. I’ve learned to talk about my mother more openly not only as a form of therapy for myself, but as a means for others to look past the nagging and come up to their mothers with a heartfelt ‘I love you’ and a tight embrace.

Despite that episode, seeing my father with in a relationship with Tita was never an issue to me or to my brother. In fact, the transition felt so natural, as if it was bound to happen since my mother’s death.

She helped me with my Filipino homework and took me to go shopping for clothes (I had a horrible cabinet of wardrobe back then). She went to my school for Parent-Teacher Conferences, and taught me how to wear contact lens and eyeliner and become more of a girl as I reached my teen years.

Not only did she help me pick out a prom dress, but she is constantly there to talk to me about a matter that neither my brother nor my father can easily address: boys.

To me, she is perfect as a mother.

My father was happily in love again. As for my brother and I, the feeling of what it was like to have a mother returned.

Perhaps the most unnatural thing for me was addressing her. Most would assume that I should have started to call her ‘Mom.’ To this day, however, I call her Tita. My mother remains as ‘Mommy.’ 

Dad and Tita celebrated a small yet intimate wedding last 2006. Imagine, my father married into my mother’s family not once, but twice! My other aunts would joke that they would be the next in line for the following wedding.

The thought of Dad remarrying was never an issue with me and my brother. It just felt so natural that Tita settled in as our mother because through the years, she had always been there for us, even before Mommy passed away.

When my father fell victim to a mild stroke last 2008, I could have never imagined how we would have managed without Tita. She shared with me one night that perhaps the reason that she ended up with Dad was to be there for me and my brother when emergencies like this happen.

I beg to disagree. They ended up together simply out of love. Most probably the same love that my father gave Mommy some years back.

It was, however, amusing to consider the possibility of having a half-sibling, half-cousin hybrid in the family, but it was too late for that anyway. 

Most people would expect me to forever grieve about the loss of my biological mother. I’ve already accepted that fact years ago, and I treat it as a blessing now, actually, because I now have two moms: one who I’d like to think is watching over me from wherever and another who is there for me whenever.                  

I wanted to blog about how blissful and nostalgic my April was, but it’s just not in me to write today.

But the least I could do is to sincerely thank everyone who took the effort to type a short greeting of “happy birthday” to my wall 4 weeks back, and those who took the extra effort to actually be with me during my birthday week.

Apologies for this long overdue expression of gratitude, but really, one of the best human feelings in the world is, as Ewan McGregor sang, to love and be loved in return.

But why don’t I see too many people making noise about it? Perhaps a video distorting the decision with fancy animation is needed to actually make them care.